Be Strong....

Lately this phrase has been bothering me. Be strong. We tell people to "be strong" when they are going through a difficult time. I have recently gone through a very difficult time in my personal life and have been told countless times how "strong" I am... And if I'm honest I think we tell people to be strong when we don't know how to respond or react when someone is being vulnerable with us about their struggle. I think it's a knee jerk response for when we don't know what to say to others.

The dictionary defines "strong" as "able to withstand great force or pressure." When someone is hurting, I don't think it's necessarily force or pressure they are experiencing. I think it's pain, sadness, numbness, loss, loneliness (I could keep going but I'll stop here as I think you get the picture." I think it's invalidating to the experience they are going through. Personally, I have not felt strong at all the last couple of months. I have felt incredibly weak and I'm ok with admitting that. I've needed to feel weak and vulnerable. Actually as I'm writing this, maybe it's not even weakness that I've felt but vulnerable. Thanks to the amazing BrenĂ© Brown, I know the difference between vulnerability and weakness. I have learned (through my own processing and sharing) that I am resilient. Not necessarily strong but just resilient. And allowing myself to be vulnerable with only helped my resiliency. 

I hesitate sharing this blog as I fear I'm going to offend someone. That is NOT my intention is writing this. It's to let people know that it's ok and human to be vulnerable and maybe even weak at times! Just hold the space for your friends that are hurting and simply give them that safe space to allow them to feel and experience what they truly are. 

We don't have to be strong to be ok in this world. Strength is an important trait to have, don't get me wrong.... But I personally feel that with being resilient, it gives us the opportunity to be weak and strong, to be authentic, courageous, raw and honest... With ourselves and others! 


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