Move On.... Or Move Forward?

"Move on" or "I need to move on from this." Or even worse...the dreaded "you should just move on!" Phrases we commonly hear these days when we've encountered something difficult or traumatic in our lives. 

But how do we do this? A few months ago, I decided I was quite annoyed by this phrase. I don't like the idea of "moving on" as it feels as if I'm leaving something (or someone behind). I also don't believe in regrets. Every choice I've made, every difficult situation I've encountered has been a part of who I am today and what has helped me to be where I am today. 

With loss, there's the notion that we are expected to "move on." How can we do that when the loss is so significant that we can't possibly imagine how to do that! To me, it seems and feels, that I'm leaving the person behind, that I'm also
somehow betraying that person and their memory. (More on that topic later though)

So the way I see it, we have two choices:
1.  Move forward
2.  Move backwards

I believe it's important to move forward, even if it's the tiniest step forward possible! Maybe it's getting out of bed and moving to the couch on a "bad day."  Maybe it's doing things WITH fear. Maybe it's taking risks. Maybe it's simplifying life. Maybe it's a new activity. Maybe a new hobby. 

Not only does this apply to grief, loss and trauma but I also find it can be applied to recovery. Recovery from anything... Depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-harm or eating disorders! 

So the choice is yours.... Forget about moving on! Move forward! 

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 21, 2016 at 1:30 PM

    Well said, chica! I agree in how so many say, 'move on'. Its the same as when someone says 'let go'. There's a process to achieving this, as well as those who often give this sort of 'advice' are not only projecting, but I have found that they haven't ever taken the advice they give. Its an easy cop out/catch phrase. Thanks for provoking deep insight. xx

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