Is it me? Am I the crazy one?

Funny how certain themes tend to weave their ways into various settings. I'll have the majority of my clients talk about the same theme during a week. Sometimes, it stirs up something in me too...that gives me additional insight into one of my own struggles. This particular theme has been one I myself have personally struggled with during different seasons of my life (just manifesting itself differently now) and one of my clients has continued to struggle with at various times in her life. 

Things clicked tonight in our session...

At least for me... Think she's still processing it. ☺️

One of my favorite sites is a site called "Elephant Journal," filled with various stories and blogs. Yesterday I came across this one....http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/10/i-am-not-who-i-once-was-who-we-become-after-trauma/ (sorry I'm not tech savvy enough to do a hyperlink on my phone! 😬). If you don't feel like reading the entire post, it's basically about how someone redefines them self after a trauma. And remember, the definition of a trauma is just something that happens to us where we don't have the ability or capacity to cope with it. 

What this brought up for me was how I am in the process of redefining myself after a trauma that happened to me a year ago. More insight from me later. 

My client was talking about another "mass exodus" of friends that happened recently and asked once again "is it me? Am I the crazy one?" This time, I answered her question (and mine) differently. "Yes," I said "it is you." She looked like she was ready to kill me but I took my time and said "you are different now." You are making positive changes now. You aren't making decisions from your addictive mindset. These 'friends' don't know how to interact with the healthy you." She paused, taking it in, and then added "the last time I lost a bunch of friends was a few months ago." I pointed out some of the behaviors she was engaging in back then, gently pointing out that she was spiraling out of control back then. Dina Strada, the author of the blog mentioned above, wrote that people either rise to their full potential or spiral out of control when facing a life crisis. My client is now choosing to rise to the full potential that she has kept hidden in the past as opposed to acting in shame and spiraling out of control. 

What it brought up for me on my way home were the times that I have also felt this way... Times when I wondered why friends stopped talking to me or whatever. Upon further reflection, I realized they were times I was in crisis or dealing with a trauma. So it was me. It is me now!! 

Being able to accept responsibility for myself though and realize that not everyone I know or were "friends" with is able to know how to handle my new life, the different choices and decisions I'm making. I'm ok with that. I'm only striving to have genuine and authentic relationships with people anyways. True friends stick around. They drive through the night across two states when you need them to simply hold your hand.  They talk to you at ridciously late hours when you are afraid to be alone. They offer to put together office furniture for you. They don't get offended when you say "no" and they support you and your crazy ideas, such as running a half marathon or doing a mud run. They continue to reach out and ask how you are doing and just say "I'm thinking about you." 

As a society we get very caught up in what we don't have (and thanks social media for perpetuating that) and we forget to be thankful for what we do have. We put our energy into people and things that will continue to enable us and ultimately reject us. 

What would it look like if you put your energy into authentic relationships? Took responsibility for your decisions and began to embrace who you are becoming?