Authentic. Showing Up. Living Life. Striving.

Judgement is a word that has been brought up frequently. The women I work with live in a constant state of anxiety and fear of being judged by others. Today, a group of teenage girls started talking about how they constantly perceive others to be judging them. They were eventually able to start to grasp that it was their perception though, not a truth or reality. But our perception is our reality and truth right?  A couple months ago, the work of Dr. Kristen Neff, a psychologist, was brought to my attention. She has extensively researched and studied self-compassion. I love the three components that she has identified as the core of self-compassion-  1.  Self-kindness: being kind to ourselves instead of constantly criticizing and judging our every thought, feeling, action, appearance, etc etc 2.  Common Humanity- recognizing that we are all humans. We are all mortal and vulnerable. We all experience a myriad of feelings and emotions. We are all connected as a result of being human.  3.

Lately this word/feeling/emotion has come up a lot in my work. Being a therapist, many of my clients struggle with fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of not changing. Fear of failure.  Fear of being viewed differently. Fear of honesty. Fear of losing their identity in their disorder.  Anxiety increased yet? I've realized lately just how much we all typically lead lives ruled by fear. How much does fear keep you trapped? According to dictionary.com, the definition of fear is " a   distressing   emotion   aroused   by  impending danger ,   evil,   pain,   etc.,   whether   the   threat   is  real   or   imagined;   the   feeling   or   condition   of  being   afraid." How much of our fear is real versus how much is imagined? I came across a Zen proverb last week that said "leap, and the net will appear."  Wow... I'm still trying to process that one myself. What's worth doing if you fail? How much do you allow your fear to d

My apologies for being such an infrequent blogger!! I'm back though and hoping to get on a regular blogging track now.  One thing I've known about myself for a long time now and frequently remember my dad saying to me when I was younger was about how I tend to view the world and situations in "black or white." What does this mean exactly? Those of us that suffer from this form of extreme thinking tend to think in extremes and all-or-nothing thinking. I honestly used to view this as a primarily positive characteristic I had, but looking back I am able to see just how greatly it limited my life.  I'm a Type A, change-hating, perfectionist folks. So are the ladies I work with. So, black or white thinking tends to go along with those other traits.  Don't get me wrong, this way of thinking can and has helped me achieve goals and dreams.... But what it really does is limit and hurt me more than anything else!! Let's get real here.... How often do we truly encoun

My mom loves telling this story... When I was little, around 5 or so, I came running up to my mom exclaiming "Beau (my younger brother) just said the "f" word!!!" My mother was shocked and apparently started saying she couldn't believe my brother (just 2 years younger) would say something like that and where on earth would he have learned a word like that! I shook my head and said "not THAT 'f' word mommy... The OTHER 'f' word!!!" Mom said "what other word is there?!?!" And I responded, well, it's not ladylike and my mom would have a fit if I wrote it on here, but my brother said a word that is also used to describe "passing gas." To this day, THAT "f" word is one of the most offensive words you can say to my mom!    However, I'd like to talk about the "other s" word. And since we are talking about therapy, there are a couple words likely floating around in your head (ahem- shame)! Don'

Hi! Welcome to my blog! For a while, I've wanted to start a blog within the context of my professional life, so here I go.  I want to share insight, inspiration and knowledge here. If you are a current client of mine, I may have encouraged you to read the book "Daring Greatly" by Brenè Brown. Sidebar- I am in complete awe of Brenè's work and am understanding how imperative it is to life. Not just having a life, but thriving. Surviving isn't enough for me anymore. I want to THRIVE!!! Also, I've also discovered just how much I enjoy working with women. The messages of shame that we hear, we internalize and eventually start to tell ourselves, hold us back. They do NOT allow us to thrive or even get by in life. The constant comparison, numbing, foreboding joy, and "need" for perfectionism in our lives, and how that affects us interpersonally and intrapersonally. I want to stop listening to the bombard of messages that society, culture, and (to be com