Lesson from the Mat... The Ego

Ego. There's a word that has been ruminating in my head recently and frequently brought up in yoga classes and in therapy sessions! Recently, the word "ego" coincides with thoughts of inflated self-esteem, such as referring to a person's ego. "She has such a big ego!" When used in that context, I certainly would not want to be accused of having a "big ego!!!" 

Some history for you. As I'm a genuine and authentic person, I'll be honest. I googled the definition of ego as it related to Freud (the father of psychoanalysis) as I was too lazy to dig out my old textbooks. I'm the first to admit that many of Freud's theories are "a little out there now," but his definition of the ego is interesting. 

Here's how Wikipedia defined it...."Originally, Freud used the word ego to mean a sense of self, but later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory." It's our reality check and keeps us in line. 

So what happened?!?! When did the ego become a driving force for inflated self-worth and dare I say narcissism?! I've noticed that my "ego" is the one telling me I'm not flexible enough to be in a certain pose. That I'm not strong enough (and never will be) to do advanced physical poses. I could go on and on. My ego can be quite loud during a class if I don't silence it. 

Interesting how the modern day ego just contributes to the scarcity problem of "never good enough" when the ego is supposed to balance us out and protect us. It's also not the best to be known as having a "weak ego." I don't think the answer is to ignore our ego, again it does look out for us. Maybe the answer is to be mindful of it. To be aware when it's encouraging us and telling us to be aware of unsafe people, but also know when it's feeding our scarcity problem.

I'm curious... What does your ego tell you? Does it protect you? Or does it fuel your shame and low self-worth?