Judgement and Common Humanity

Judgement is a word that has been brought up frequently. The women I work with live in a constant state of anxiety and fear of being judged by others. Today, a group of teenage girls started talking about how they constantly perceive others to be judging them. They were eventually able to start to grasp that it was their perception though, not a truth or reality. But our perception is our reality and truth right? 

A couple months ago, the work of Dr. Kristen Neff, a psychologist, was brought to my attention. She has extensively researched and studied self-compassion. I love the three components that she has identified as the core of self-compassion- 
1.  Self-kindness: being kind to ourselves instead of constantly criticizing and judging our every thought, feeling, action, appearance, etc etc
2.  Common Humanity- recognizing that we are all humans. We are all mortal and vulnerable. We all experience a myriad of feelings and emotions. We are all connected as a result of being human. 
3.  Mindfulness- being present. Staying in the moment. Not fusing with or ignoring emotions. 

Why did I bring this up? I have recently come to recognize that many of us are so preoccupied with how different we are from one another, that we miss a lot of opportunities. Does having a certain experience "qualify" or discount our ability to connect with others? Our different experiences is what makes us unique and individual! Try to be mindful about your interactions with others. Just because someone may have a different experience or situation from you, does not mean they don't know how to empathize and relate to you. Instead of pointing out and fixating on every single difference between yourself and someone else, look at the shared themes. Pain is pain. I might have a different experience from you that's specific to pain, but I've still experienced it. Same with other emotions. When we really break it down, is my experience of anxiety or shame really that different from your experience of it? I know we can all be quick to judge others and most especially, ourselves. What would it look like if you practiced common humanity and focused on shared experiences instead of being caught in looking for differences? Sadness is sadness. Grief is grief. Loss is loss. I believe that unless I have personally walked in your shoes, I am unable to know how you really feel about something or how you have interpreted it or responded to it. My experience of anxiety is likely different from yours... But does that mean I can't relate to you? Does that mean I haven't experienced anxiety because our life paths have been different and choices I have made? Again, our perception is our reality!!  Let's stop over-complicating everything and get back to the basics of practicing common humanity. 

I'd love to challenge my readers to examine and evaluate how they practice common humanity. I'd also love to hear your comments and experiences while doing this challenge!! 





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